Best Morning Ever! (Read dripping sarcasm here)

It all started when the kids woke me up this morning out of a great dream involving a tree, a bunny and the “pin it” button from Pinterest. I think there might have been aliens involved. I don’t know for sure, its all a bit fuzzy now.

Anyway, after realizing we were going to be late for school, we did our normal morning routine where I yell a lot about getting dressed and eating and they completely ignore me. As we were FINALLY getting out the door we hear what was very clearly a gunshot.  This was no backfiring car or thunder clap.  It was most likely a shotgun, or large caliber pistol (I’ve studied up on my gun terms on NCIS). I mean, it was loud!

I pulled everyone back inside and we hunkered down for a while. I was 100% sure we would see people running into the street firing at each other, or perhaps someone stumbling down the street bleeding. But when I finally got the courage to rush everyone into the car and drive away slouched down in our seats (just in case), there was nothing.  It looked like a normal quiet morning on our boring little street.  I called the police anyway, just to be safe.  And you know that I pictured myself answering the questions of some FBI agents later, so I carefully noted the time just in case.

Just to make the morning more exciting, I got pulled over for speeding right before we made it to school.  46 in a 30 baby!  I don’t mean to brag, but wow.  I had no idea I was going that fast.  I was still caught up in the morning gunfire episode.  I tried to explain what had happened that morning and that I never speed (which is the absolute truth- no sarcasm this time).  He didn’t believe me either.  He tried to explain that I can get my ticket cut in half if I go to court and explain the circumstances.  I just looked behind me at the three kids yelling at me “what’s happening? Who is he?  Why aren’t we going? I’m hungry! Aaaah!” and started crying.  “I can’t take take my kids to court with me, and its hard to find a babysitter, and…” I don’t really know what else I said.  I was a bit of a mess by that point.  I think he tried to reassure me, said something about a phone number I could call.  I just thanked him, grabbed my ticket and drove away.

Of course the kids really started in with the questions now.  What better time to ask Mama when the bell rings than when she’s sobbing in the front seat?

We were 40 minutes late to school.  I think that might be a record.  When they asked the reason of course I told the whole story.  I’m not sure what she wrote down on the excuse slip they give, but I hope it was good.  “Encounter with gunman and unfeeling police officer.”  That’s what I would’ve put anyway.

Just to top it off Ian whined the whole way home, and Will decided to open and rub all over himself the new citrus sugar bath scrub I just made.  At least this mess smelled good when I cleaned it up.  And the day is still young.  Who knows what other adventures await…

Anyone else have some good worst day stories?  I love to hear about other people’s crazy lives.  Makes me feel better about my own.

This is what the sky looked like above my house this morning. Appropriate I thought…