I am amazing in a crisis. I mean, I could direct FEMA if they asked me. Something clicks in me and I go into this mode where I can access memories I didn’t know I had, and multitask and prioritize like a triage nurse.
But when it comes to the daily crisis of raising a family and dealing with life, I feel useless. I become overwhelmed by one small thing after another until I feel like I’m drowning.
I have a daughter with special needs. I’ve talked about her here a bit. She is my firstborn, my only girl, and I adore her. But she has a number of struggles and things we have to deal with on a daily basis. And some days I see them all layed out and piled up on top of her shoulders, and I begin to feel that sense of drowning.
How do we do this? How will she manage in life? How can I possibly help her with all of these different issues?
Yesterday it came to a climax after waking up to wet beds again, a tummy ache, a visit to the doctor, the pharmacist, an appointment to have an ultrasound done, talk of possible surgery, then a talk with her school psychologist, audiologist, and physical therapist. Halfway through my talk with the physical therapist I began crying hysterically and just couldn’t stop.
I walked in the living room and Will (my 18 month old) saw me crying and he got very upset. He didn’t cry, but held out his arms to me. I picked him up and he wrapped his little arms around me, buried his head in my shoulder, and held me while I wept. He held onto me like that for a few minutes while I just held on tight and let it wash over me. He insisted on staying in my arms for the next 30 minutes, probably needing to make sure he had done his job well. Which of course he had. I felt lighter. A bit more certain that we were all safe and loved and were going to be ok.
Although I have moments when I feel like I’m drowning in parenthood and just life in general. These small moments with my family remind me that at least we are in this together. And when we hold on tightly to each other, we will make it.
God is good. He has given us each other. And once again, He has given me hope. And peace. And a deep sense of thanksgiving for this beautiful family of mine.
This post also shared on these great blog parties…
inspiration friday, FYBF, penny worthy project, www.deeprootsathome.com, WFMW
I so feel your sense of overwhelm. My challenges are different than yours, but I recognize that sense of trying to keep my head above water and wondering if the Universe really needs to “prove it” that God won’t give me more challenges than I can handle! Ha! And yes, when my little boy puts his arms around my neck, certainly the challenges feel worth it, and lighter. Thank you for sharing. We’re never alone.
Right back at you. I appreciate it!
Oh, Heather, I’m so sorry. Whatever I can do to help, please call on me. Do you need a babysitter while you go to all the appointments? I’m here. Please use me. My heart is breaking for Julia. And you! Take care and call me anytime. We’d love to have any or all of your kids any time.
You’re amazing Aimee. Thank you!
My prayers are with you and your family. Always remember that God never gives you more than you can handle. He also chose you and your husband to be her parents as you are the best for all of your children.
A deeply felt thank you.
It’s so human and so mum, in my experience, to keep balancing all the plates. Sometimes it takes that final straw for them all to come tumbling down. What a tender moment you were able to share with your son. I wish you renewed strength to face another day. Visiting from FYBF.
Thanks for visiting and sharing. I appreciate the camaraderie.
There are days that will be so trying on us that its inevitable we feel like we’re drowning. So beautiful to hear that your little boy held you long enough to make sure you were okay. That’s the power of unconditional love and family. Sending you love and support.
Thank you, thank you. It really does help.
Heather, thank you for sharing this with us at Inspiration Friday. Writing these types of post always make one feel they are “baring their soul” for others to see. THANK YOU for sharing from your heart and letting moms know that we all feel like we are drowning sometimes and to WHO we can look to for our rescue. We are featuring this at Inspiration Friday this week.
Heather and Vanessa
Thanks Heather and Vanessa. One of my aims in life is to share my own struggles because I know so many others are struggling with similar stuff. And it is just so hard to start that conversation and let people know you’re struggling. Hope this helps in some small way. Thanks for the feature and support!
What a lovely post and a heart -warming story about Will’s loving heart! makes me feel teary-eyed and blessed at the same time! Thank you, dear one! Yes, God is SO good!